damned if you don't
by kyleisgod
Summary: Kenny blames himself for Stan's "death" on Halloween. Only Kyle can make him feel better.


Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

Author's Notes: I haven't posted anything all my own in a long time so I'm curious what people will think of it. Hello to all my fans, old or new. I can't promise how often I'll be writing but I wanted to at least get this idea out. A burst of inspiration and a very good South Park season coupled with mostly positive reviews from new fans inspired me to write something for the fandom again and this is what came out. I hope you like it. Read and review! This is based on and takes place right after episode 1612 _A Nightmare On FaceTime_

/

Bloodshot eyes briefly focused on a wrist watch to confirm the passage of time. It was Midnight; the end to Halloween. Candy had long since been devoured by obese American children. The feminine on-screen screams of various slasher movie victims were replaced by silence. Most of the world returned to reality where the dead didn't actually roam earth in search of sweets, but South Park had never been like most of the world. In homes all over town colorful outfits from a concluded costume contest got discarded in various fashions. On the poor side of town a miniature _Iron Man_ was placed back inside a boy's bedroom drawer, perhaps to be handed down or worn again next year. Play time was over.

Unfortunately the _Iron Man_ costume had only taken the place of another heroic uniform. Halloween may have been finished, but playing the hero wasn't over yet. At the rate things were going, maybe there never would be a right time to stop. Fun turned into work. Joy turned into regret. Light turned into darkness. Kenny McCormick turned into Mysterion.

Perched atop a bank's roof, Mysterion's tired eyes scanned the city streets for any sign of crime. The earlier apprehension of the Red Box Killers did little to calm the hero's tortured soul. He wanted to foil a plot. Catch a bad guy. Avenge the death of his fallen friend. It was the only way he'd get to sleep tonight. He needed justice!

So, naturally, the crime wasn't coming.

'Typical McCormick luck' Kenny told himself. Nonetheless Mysterion remained ever-vigilant at his post. It was a bank for God's sake. Someone had to try something, right? "Come on." Mysterion's raspy voice encouraged the empty night sky. Another glimpse at his watch suggested that time had somehow slowed down just to be spiteful. It wasn't even 12:01 yet. He'd settle for a damn jaywalker at this point. Any form of vengeance to sooth his inner turmoil.

"_You_ come on."

Mysterion's cape whipped in the wind as he quickly turned to face his potential attacker. Who was it? Professor Chaos? The Coon? One of the Banes?

No such luck. The voice hadn't even belonged to a new adversary. Mysterion frowned in disappointment. His adrenal gland once again slowed down. He decided to at least address the company. "What do you want, Kyle?"

Kyle slowly approached his friend. Illumination from a street light revealed that Kyle's _Thor_ costume was also retired. He hadn't even bothered changing into his Human Kite persona for the encounter, which suggested that this meeting was rather serious. That it was Kyle speaking more personally to Kenny rather than to Mysterion. "I want you to go home, dude. It's late and you're clearly exhausted."

Kyle's tone was a calculated mixture of concern, pity and anger. Hearing anything besides hatred in his sidekick's voice already did wonders for Kenny's heavy heart. Of all of the people in town he believed that Kyle should be the angriest at him. Although the concern was appreciated, it still wasn't enough to slow Mysterion down. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I could've stopped them."

The capturing of the Red Box Killers came with a heavy price. Stan Marsh was dead, along with the rest of Kyle's Ipad, and the angst-ridden Mysterion blamed himself for the loss. He should've been the one sent in undercover; not Stan. He should've stood up to the criminals in the first place; not encouraged Kenny's friends to "bail" on the situation. If Kenny had only acted as bravely as Mysterion did, perhaps the tragedy could've been avoided.

"You don't know that for sure. You can't blame yourself." Kyle said firmly.

"_I could've tried_!" Mysterion exclaimed in a moment of vulnerable self-hatred. "I could've taken the bullet for him! I have a _Maylong_!"

Kyle cautiously outstretched an arm. He placed a comforting hand upon Mysterion's trembling shoulder. "I don't blame you. Stan wouldn't blame you. Captain Hindsight is gone, remember? That means we have to rely on our own, and ours is only perfect after the fact. Not before and definitely not during."

Kyle's words made sense, but Mysterion still struggled to forgive himself for dropping the ball. Stan not blaming Kenny or Mysterion was a pleasant thought, but would he really have been so forgiving? Thanks to Kenny's cowardice they'd never get the chance to find out…Until tomorrow when they met up with Stan for basketball or Kyle found a charger, whichever came first. Besides, Kyle was supposed to be Mysterion's faithful sidekick. Don't talk the hero out of battle; join him in it! With that in mind Mysterion turned the discussion toward matters of business.

"Have you seen anything? Pranks? Trespassing?" Both were popular crimes on Halloween night.

"Nothing" Kyle confirmed. "Not even sixth graders stealing candy from kids. And you should be _happy_ about that. It means you've done your job and there's nothing else to do for now. You try to make this town safe every night. Statistically bad stuff's bound to happen sometimes. Please, just go home."

"_Will you listen to yourself_!" Mysterion pushed Kyle's hand away. He turned his back to his friend. "'Bad stuff's bound to happen.'? He was your _best friend_!"

"_Don't you think I know that_?!" Kyle shouted.

The true anger buried inside of Kyle's heart had finally been forced to the surface. Mysterion prepared himself for the verbal onslaught. Now the blame would surely be placed squarely on his shoulders where it belonged. As Mysterion awaited Kyle's wrath, he wondered if he'd lose a second friend by the end of the night. If so, at least Kyle wouldn't have to die for it to happen. It was already too late for his Ipad.

"I could've brought a charger." Kyle said; his tone growing softer. "I could've charged it before I left the house."

"Kyle-"

"Stan could've refused to go in." Kyle added. Not caring that he was interrupting Mysterion, Kyle continued. "The Red Box Killers could've learned about online streaming. The cops could've canceled the Monster Mash. Stan's dad could've not screwed up the bust. There's plenty of blame that could go around here, so I don't want to hear anymore blaming yourself crap. It isn't an option, understand? You did what you did to protect us. What if you _had_ tried to stop them? Then what? Huh?" Kyle challenged; his anger returning as quickly as it had dissipated.

"I-"

"I'll _tell_ you what then." Kyle said, interrupting again. "Then, Stan might've died anyway, and the same's true for me and Cartman. Which would've been like you losing four friends because he's so fat!"

The jab at Cartman's weight didn't force a smile onto Mysterion's face. Still it was certainly a valid point. A battery life may have been lost, but it could've been much worse. If Kenny had chosen to play the hero at the wrong time his friends could've still suffered a fate that they couldn't recover from. Bullet wounds were no big thing to Kenny, but the others wouldn't have handled it well. Even non-lethal shots could've been life-altering to his fellow _Avengers_ in a way that Kenny simply woke up from the next morning. He ran and encouraged his friends to do the same for good reason: He wanted to live to fight another day. That's what he was doing now.

And it's what Stan was doing when he accepted the undercover mission which ultimately did him in. Like any other good hero Stan knew the risks and accepted his responsibility anyway. No matter how endangering it was to his own well-being. He knew exactly what he was getting into. It was no one person's fault.

Mysterion sighed. "You're right."

Kyle smiled at Mysterion's admission of defeat. Thankfully, Kyle didn't rub in his victory. He simply repeated that Kenny should "Go home." before wrapping a fist around Mysterion's cape and giving a small tug of encouragement.

Slowly but surely the tired hero finally turned his back on the peaceful city. Together the two friends moved for the building's fire escape. It was time to get some sleep like the rest of the townspeople. It was time to stop playing the hero for tonight.

"What did Ike go as this year?" Mysterion wondered; changing their discussion to more pleasant subjects.

"_Spiderman_. What was Karen?"

"A princess."

"_You're_ a princess." Kyle teased.

_That_ remark got the smile out of Mysterion that Kyle had been searching for earlier. It was true: Mysterion _was_ the one guiltiest of dressing up in tights and running around at night leading a secret lifestyle.

They both knew that the happiness being felt was only temporary. That tomorrow night Kenny would suit up only to put himself through the same torture. Ever the loyal sidekick, Kyle would join Mysterion whether he wanted to or not. Eventually criminals _would_ come forward again, and when they did things would only get worse for the heroes before they got better. For now though everything seemed okay, and Kenny and Kyle both chose to act like it was.

A little more pretending couldn't hurt anybody.

The End


End file.
